Envy, often referred to as the green-eyed monster, is a universal emotion that everyone of us experiences at some point in our lives. It can manifest in various forms, from longing for someone else’s success to coveting their possessions.
Jealousy often comes from what’s going on around us. Thanks to social media, everyone picks and shares only the best stuff, including us. It’s all about the perfect filtered pictures, but the behind-the-scenes moments are kept secret. What we see might not be the whole story, just the parts people want us to see.
Envy often kicks in when we measure ourselves against others, creating a feeling of inadequacy. It’s essential to recognize that feeling envious is a normal part of being human. Digging into the hormonal side of this emotion revealed a complex process. Factors like low oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, or elevated cortisol levels play a role in shaping our experience of envy. Understanding these aspects can shed light on the intricate nature of this emotion.
At times, envy acts like a mirror, showing us our wants and ambitions. By pinpointing what triggers envy, we gain insights into our values and goals, helping us better understand ourselves.
To be honest, I’ve experienced this emotion at different points in my life, and it often translated into anger. I used to push those feelings down without reflecting on them. It’s tough to admit out loud that I’ve been jealous of various people at different times.
There are times when we’re only conscious of our problems and oblivious to others’. Everyone faces their own challenges, but not everyone discusses them openly, especially until you become close to them. Realizing this makes me less envious. A book that really opened my eyes to this perspective was “The Almanack of Naval Ravikant.” I read a particular passage three times to let it sink in, and I find myself revisiting it whenever needed.
“Jealousy was a very hard emotion for me to overcome. When I was young, I had a lot of jealousy. By and by, I learned to get rid of it. It still crops up every now and then. It’s such a poisonous emotion because, at the end of the day, you’re no better off with jealousy. You’re unhappier, and the person you’re jealous of is still successful or good-looking or whatever they are.
One day, I realized with all these people I was jealous of, I couldn’t just choose little aspects of their life. I couldn’t say I want his body, I want her money, I want his personality. You have to be that person. Do you want to actually be that person with all of their reactions, their desires, their family, their happiness level, their outlook on life, their self-image? If you’re not willing to do a wholesale, 24/7, 100% swap with who that person is, then there is no point in being jealous.
Once I came to that realization, jealousy faded away because I don’t want to be anybody else. I’m perfectly happy being me.”
This was a huge help to me in understanding the roots of difficult emotions and getting over them. By recognizing when envy is present and shifting focus to self-improvement and gratitude, we can handle this challenging emotion with grace. It’s essential to embrace our uniqueness, celebrate our successes, and always remember that our life’s journey is personal and distinct to each of us.
Cheers!
PS: Nandrigal to Naval
I do send out my posts to very few people. Join my mailing list if you enjoy what you read.
Random Whys 