So, today’s blog is all about Earth Day. I’m sure you all know that Earth Day started back in 1970, thanks to the US Senator Gaylord Nelson. There’s even a special flag and an Earth anthem. How delightful! But enough with the history lesson, let’s get down to the real nitty-gritty: how to “celebrate” Earth Day the way we truly do.
#Embrace Plastic
Our day starts beautifully. We brush our plastic teeth (multiple times, because the planet loves a little microbead scrub), grab a coffee in a disposable cup (because dishwashing is for suckers), and head off with a plastic salad container and a water bottle that could fuel a small nation. Hey, look around your desk! See all that plastic? Fun fact: while you’re reading this, the Earth is judging you silently (and probably sweating a little). But hey, happy Earth Day! And if all that plastic bothers you, well, the oceans are always happy to take it off your hands. They’ve been stockpiling for years, anyway.
#Bin There, Done That (Kind Of)
Recycling? Segregating waste? Who has that kind of time? Let’s just pile it all together and chuck it in one giant bin. Europe might reward you for proper sorting, but here? We celebrate Earth Day with good old-fashioned chaos. Plus, scrolling through endless “Save the Earth” videos is way more effective than, you know, actually sorting your trash.
#Malls Over Nature
Weekends are for malls, baby! Forget that pesky greenery. Who needs fresh air and mental well-being when you can buy stuff you don’t need and post about it online (which will totally depress you later, but hey, Earth Day!).
#Planting? Ewwww!
Planting a tree? Don’t be ridiculous Andrea! Studio apartments and busy schedules don’t have time and space for such things. And those needy little houseplants? Who has the energy to keep them alive when we can barely keep ourselves together? Besides, who needs pollinators when you have exterminators? It’s much easier to kill off any insects or pollinators we see, because why would we want to support the very creatures that help sustain our ecosystem? They sting right? Happy Earth Day indeed!
#Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle?
Remember the three R’s we learned in school? Reduce, reuse, recycle? Yeah, me neither. But hey, I can preach about reducing plastic use all day long. That doesn’t mean I’ll actually remember my reusable bags at the store. Plastic bags are banned. Well, they’re still hiding in our cupboards (IYKYK). Those are practically heirlooms at this point.
#Littering is not my fault!
Obviously, the lack of trash cans everywhere is the real culprit behind litter. It’s not like we have pockets or bags to hold our waste until we find a proper bin. The Earth’s problems? It is entirely not my fault. We all know that.
#Conservation is exhausting!
Who needs bicycles when air conditioning and electronic gadgets exist? Exercise is overrated, and who wants to reduce their environmental impact anyway? Let’s crank up the AC, leave the lights on, and keep those energy-guzzling electronics humming. We’re doing you a favor (probably not). Happy Earth Day, planet!
So, there you have it! A comprehensive guide to “celebrating” Earth Day the way most of us actually do. I am writing this in a room that is air-conditioned. Happy Earth Day (again)!
Let’s keep pretending we care while actively contributing to the planet’s demise. Why worry when we’ve got Mars!
If you found this helpful, please give it a thumbs up and share it with anyone who might enjoy and save earth.
Thank you for reading ♡!
Cheers!
PS: Busy scrolling Save Earth reels!
*யாரையும் புண்படுத்தும் நோக்கம் இல்லை
Don’t miss out! Get notified about new blog posts straight to your inbox !
(No spam, pinky promise!)
Random Whys 