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Some beliefs feel stronger than just opinions. Over time, we stop seeing them as ideas we agree with or follow on. We start start seeing them as part of who we are.
We start by saying I believe this, and it slowly turns into I am this . Sometimes consciously, sometimes without even realizing it.
We usually don’t realize when a belief has become part of who we are. It just settles in quietly. We only start to notice when we get defensive, try to prove it to others, or feel attacked when someone questions it. That’s when it shows! It’s no longer just a belief, it’s us. And one more thing is that, most of us don’t even catch it. We don’t see that we’ve tied our identity to something we once just agreed with.
That shift changes everything. Because once a belief becomes part of our identity, letting go of it feels like losing a piece of ourselves. And defending it becomes a way of protecting who we are.
That’s why arguments often go nowhere.
We can’t argue someone out of a belief they didn’t reason their way into especially when it’s tied to their culture, upbringing, past experiences, or a deep need to belong in the society.
Sometimes, the most respectful thing we can do is step back. Not because we agree, but because we understand. Identity isn’t something people let go of just because we asked them to.
But what about ourselves? Notice where you get triggered that’s often where a belief has quietly become part of you. That moment of awareness is the first step.
Cheers
PS: Monogamy. This blog came out of that!
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