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The Reading Contrast!

1–2 minutes

The difference between reading a novel and a self-help book is quite interesting.

Novels are immersive and easy to remember. You can breeze/skim through them quickly. You can read them at your own pace and easily pick up the story whenever you return.

On the other hand, self-help books demand your full attention. You need to absorb, reflect, and sometimes reread to truly grasp the ideas.

They take longer to finish, requiring focused attention and energy, but in the end, they reward you with that satisfying “aha” moment.

Cheers!

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Metamorphosis & Invisible Threads!

2–3 minutes

Finished reading Metamorphosis. At first, the book takes you to an imaginary world. So far, I’ve been reading non-fiction or self-help books, where the scenes are easier to imagine. This was different. I found myself trying to visualize the vermin as described in the book. I’m not sure how much it matches Kafka’s. No where near!

The first two chapters didn’t affect me much. It was interesting to see how people initially react when the breadwinner of the family turns into a vermin. But the third chapter hits you hard. It truly made me understand the meaning behind the title Metamorphosis.

Here’s what stood out to me:

  • His struggles to accept the transformation: At first, he finds it hard to believe he has turned into a vermin. The physical appearance!
  • Hiding from others: He avoids facing anyone and hides. By the end, he doesn’t even care. Swept off by the violin music.
  • Losing his voice: He tries to speak at first but eventually loses even the thought of communicating.
  • Family dynamics: Grete, his sister, cares for him. She tries feeding him different foods. But over time, even she gets tired of cleaning and feeding him.
  • Adapting to darkness: He gets used to staying in the shadows.
  • Pain changes: The pain is sharp at first but dulls over time.
  • Family’s independence: The family, once dependent on Gregor, slowly learns to fend for themselves.
  • Longing for connection: Despite everything, he craves human connection especially Grete.

While reading, I kept linking this book to The Courage to Be Disliked. I’m not entirely sure why. One is a novel, and the other is philosophical. Yet, both made me reflect on this: to feel alive and truly live, a person needs to feel useful to others

Now, if we consider Adlerian philosophy, it teaches us to find meaning by contributing to others without expecting recognition or validation. However, Gregor longed for connection. His value was lost, and complete isolation broke him. This shows how isolation can harm us psychologically.

While internal meaning is important, we are social beings at heart or by nature. The real challenge is finding balance. Feeling worthy on our own while staying meaningfully connected to others or to the community. Balance is one of the hardest things to do, extremes are always easier!

Books like Kafka’s Metamorphosis and The Courage to Be Disliked explore these intriguing ideas. They teach us that human value isn’t just about productivity or society’s expectations. It’s much deeper, multidimensional and complex. Hard to get a grasp of it!

That’s what I’m taking away from this book.

Cheers!

P.S. Nudge – Next reading!

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Sara’s Journey (Sara’vin Payanangal)

Sara evolved from seeing journeys as mere destinations to valuing experiences, companionship, and personal growth throughout her travels.

2–3 minutes

There was once a traveler called Sara (Iykyk) who carried two different maps in her backpack. One was old, crushed, torn and marked with lines. The other was new, still crisp but with soft edges.

When she was younger, she thought the map was everything. Each destination was a goal. Every mile was a success to her. She walked with a fixed pace, following the lines with no questions and arguments.

But maps do change right? Landscapes changed. And so did she.

As the years passed, she learned that paths are not always straight. The journey itself had its own stories. The stones underfoot, the unexpected turns, and moments of doubt became more evident and important than any destination.

She also learned that companionship changes the journey.

Some people she met were like strict compasses. They always pointed north and didn’t understand if the path shifted. They measured progress by their own rules. They judged, instead of encouraging and hindered the path (Kulla nari).

Other companions were different (Buji). They walked beside her. Sometimes their steps matched, sometimes they didn’t. When the journey got hard, they helped to carry the weight.

When new things came along, they looked with curiosity and not criticism. They didn’t just see the path their way and they were open to seeing it through others’ eyes.

She understood that the journey is about moving forward and not being perfect. It’s about all growth. Their presence invited her to explore, not to follow a set direction.

In these moments, sometimes it was quiet. Sometimes full of conversation, she realized that a journey isn’t about how far you go. It’s about how much you understand and make it meaningful.

The destination once important, now not mattered. The journey was and with the right company. The journey could become something shared something richer and beautiful said Dora. Who knows, in five years, Dora might say something else!

Cheers!

P.S. Couldn’t use Original pic ! (CRs)

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Within

Sometimes, we already have the wisdom we need. we just need to trust it.

This wisdom might come from advice, books, or our own experiences.

It’s not about searching for something new but about recognizing and using what’s already within us.

Believing in what we know can make a big difference.

It Ends With Us (2024) Movie review

2–4 minutes

I finally got around to watching It Ends With Us. Initially, I planned to see it when it was released in theaters, but I ended up watching it now on OTT (pestered few of my friends for movie link or the platform to watch). When it first came out, it was only available for rent. Later, I got busy with work and kept postponing it.

I’ve read a lot of reviews saying the book is far better than the movie. Many readers felt that the characters of Atlas and Ryle didn’t meet their expectations. I stopped reading fiction after COVID. I had started with Revolution 2020 by Chetan Bhagat and read a few books after that, but I’m not sure if I lost interest in fiction or if the gap affected me. Watching this movie, however, makes me want to read the book and understand Atlas better. Some parts of me are curious about the conversations and details from the book.

Now, coming to the movie itself. Since I haven’t read the book, my thoughts are based only on the movie. The title It Ends With Us felt meaningful by the end. The opening scenes were engaging and set the story well. Lily struggles with her feelings about her father, and Ryle has uncontrollable anger issues. The “naked truths” they revealed early on were bitter yet important to the story.

Here are some of my observations:

  1. Ryle’s unresolved childhood trauma was revealed as part of his “naked truths” early in the story.
  2. Lily’s compassion, whether for flowers or Atlas, stood out. Did she like Atlas because he understood her pain?
  3. Atlas’s early warning and the card he left under the case were thoughtful touches.
  4. The heart made from oak wood and the heart tattoo near Lily’s collarbone were symbolic and added layers to her character.
  5. Alyssa, as Lily’s best friend, did an amazing job supporting her.
  6. Lily’s experiences with her parents helped her understand her own abusive relationship. This realization was critical for her decision.
  7. Lily’s mom shared how she got used to loving her husband, even though he abused her. She depended on him for many things, like fixing things in the house, which made it hard for her to break free
  8. The portrayal of an abusive relationship was simplified, but it still touched on the impact it has on children. The way Lily explained this to Ryle was powerful.
  9. Ryle acknowledging that Lily should live alone was amazing (I was like, what he understood easily??).
  10. Atlas’s empathy was clear when he told Lily, “If you’re ever ready to love again, fall in love with me.” That scene stayed with me.
  11. The way Lily’s father beat up Atlas was terrifying, yet Atlas stood up for her despite the risk. (I know, it’s novel, lol !)
  12. The metaphor of roots and lily blooms was beautifully placed. The idea that healthy roots are essential for growth connected well with the story.

Overall, the movie had its moments, but I feel the book might offer more depth, especially with characters like Atlas. I might pick it up anytime sooner. Its available in Netflix.

Cheers

PS: obsessed with Love the Hell Out of You (Lewis Capaldi)

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Regret Loop

1–2 minutes

We often consume a lot of information these days. we refine and decide it based on what we truly need in life. These learnings usually remain at a surface level because they are just that learnings.

When chaotic situations arise, we often react in unexpected ways. Later, we regret not handling them better, even though we knew how. This triggers the brain to recall past moments where we failed, pushing us into a cycle of regret and self-doubt. I believe breaking this cycle comes down to practice. Time consuming tho!

Bruce Lee once said

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times

Similarly, life teaches us to handle things better with repeated experiences. This applies to all aspects of life. Sometimes, it’s about believing in ourselves.

Trust that we can improve and handle challenges better each time. That doesn’t mean we need to expose yourself to negativity intentionally, but when difficult situations arise, trust that we’ll grow through them.

Cheers!

P.S. I’m currently reading Metamorphosis and just finished The Courage to Be Disliked. Both are eye-opening reads!

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Think Twice!

Social media offers income opportunities, but education remains vital for some, teaching essential skills and patience for future success.

1–2 minutes

With the rise of social media, many people are now making money through these platforms. It’s great to see more diverse ways to earn an income. People are able to make good lifestyle. But this trend is causing some to think that education is no longer necessary. Is it creating a bubble that education isn’t needed? Is it right?

For some, it’s easy to say, “Forget a degree,” especially if they have support to fall back on. But for those without this privilege, a degree is something essential and crucial. Might realize these at a later stage. At least if not a degree, skill sets are required.

Education has some hidden benefits. The skills it builds may not seem immediately useful, but they help in ways we don’t always see right away.

For eg, you may wonder what algebra or Pythagoras’s theorem have to do with real life. Even I have no clue what they do in life. But they teach that us patience, that not every problem has to be solved. Some can be ignored.

Base your choice on what you want for your future, not on someone else’s influence. After all, you’re the one who’s going to live with it.

Cheers!

Lubber Pandhu (2024) Movie Review

“Lubber Pandhu,” highlights the themes of ego clashes, relationships, love, and strong characters, while encouraging viewers to ponder its deeper meanings.

1–2 minutes

Happy Deepavali and Halloween to everyone reading! Let light sparkle into your darkness.

I had the chance to watch Lubber Pandhu today—yes, on Disney OTT. The theatres here are all booked! It was a great watch, yet left me thinking about a few things. Some might wonder, “What’s there to think about in a movie?” But each movie can show us something different, whether it’s about competition, cricket, love, ego, or just feeling good. For me, Lubber Pandhu had a mix of it all.

Some observations maybe

  • The clash of egos between the men was shown clearly. It showed how relationships can be more important than pride. Between Anbu and Gethu, friend’s clash of ego, the Jolly friends team’s clash.
  • Anbu’s sportsmanship and his drive to win were impressive. Gethu’s acting and talent also stood out.
  • The bond between couples both the young ones and the parents. It was beautifully portrayed. They each showed love, compassion, and an understanding of what the other wanted. It was good to see their realization that they couldn’t live without one another. Anbu accepting that she might learn to live alone, and Gethu’s tears as he asks her to stay, added depth.
  • The lead female characters were strong and confident in their choices
  • Friends had a meaningful role too. Important moments were handled with sharp, thought-provoking lines whether it was in the brotherly like scenes or when Akila entered the game.
  • The plot was engaging throughout the story.

This film left me with few things to think about, and I’m sure it will resonate with you when you watch.

Cheers

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Beneath the Surface!

Kind gestures you stumbled upon and loved
A fragment piece of mine, remaining untamed
Felt calm and tranquil, seeing the waves
Ignoring the ocean depths of storms in head
You dream of me all sweet and sugar
Beautiful doll, built inside your mind
Praising all the soft and pureness
Wanting to hold your illusion of me
Seeing the smile, you ignore the scars
For in these scars, a new story begins.

Cheers

PS: FI – Deadly nightshade

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Uncertain

While organizing my inbox, I encountered a quote about the past’s uncertainty compared to the future, prompting me to reflect on how my perceptions of past events change over time.

1–2 minutes

Today, while clearing out my inbox, I used keyboard shortcuts to sift through unread emails quickly. I skimmed each one, moving important messages to labeled folders (love to give colors), archiving those that weren’t, and moving to the next.

In the middle of this routine, I came across a quote in Morgan Housel’s Collab Fund newsletter that grabbed my attention. It was titled A Message from the Past. Curiosity got the best of me, so I opened it, but since I was in a rush, I only read the first few lines before closing it and returned to my inbox to cleanup.

However, the quote kept echoing in my mind:

The past is more uncertain than the future!

It was written by Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko, tho I wasn’t sure. We often think of the future as unpredictable, full of surprises, and hear advice like “Don’t live in the future! Future is unpredictable! You never know what’s going to happen.” This quote seemed to suggest the opposite, leaving me a bit confused.

Eventually, I went back to the email again and read it in full, as well as a few others, and found the idea fascinating. I could really relate to it. Every time I think about my past right from childhood moments to events as recent as yesterday, I notice my understanding of these events shifts.

Let’s say something happened in 2006, my version of it in 2012, 2018, 2020, and now would each be different. It is actually. With my experiences, understanding and perspectives over a period of time, and when I look back, it’s like seeing things with a new lens.

That’s why, in a way, the past does feel uncertain pola!

What are your thoughts?

Cheers

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Meiyazhagan (2024) Movie Review

“Meiyazhagan” offers a fresh perspective on relationships and emotions, showcasing genuine connections and vulnerability, contrasted against today’s action-oriented films. It resonates deeply.

2–3 minutes

I really wanted to watch “Meiyazhagan” on birthday. It reminded me of watching 96 in Trichy on same day, though that plan didn’t work out. Pakka Flop! Finally, the movie came out on Netflix, and I watched it with my family.

Everyone at home was drawn into the story. Maybe it was because of how beautifully it showed relationships and family bonds. The story is full of pure emotions of innocence, care, and affection. Yes, there are some bitter moments and difficult people, but that’s life. This movie felt different to me from others. Today’s movies often portray violence, but Meiyazhagan shows vulnerability and the softer side of men. It was refreshing to watch two men having heartfelt conversations. It left me feeling good and warm.

Karthi and Arvind Swamy (playing Meiyazhagan and Arul) shared the spotlight perfectly. They helped each other find their true selves. Karthi looked up to Arvind Swamy as a role model, learning from him without Arvind even knowing. Even, the bicycle became a symbol of their connection and how it changed Karthi’s life.

When Arvind Swamy moved to Chennai, he seemed to lose himself in city life. You can spot few things where he always wears watches in early scenes, but stops wearing them, people telling him to be gentle. He wears his father’s and yet he miss it again while leaving for Chennai. Giving a wrong number to him and so. Once Karthi showers him with love, he struggles to accept. Guilty? Not sure tho. He tries to flee. He picks up Karthi’s slipper while running (he adores it, actually).

Karthi helps him rediscover himself by having such deeper conversations. The emotional scenes hit hard – like when Arvind Swamy breaks down because he can’t remember Karthi, or when Karthi realizes his hero doesn’t know him. Their tears felt real. It makes you wonder, do men have conversations this heartfelt in reality?

Few more scenes, I loved. The way Arul and Azhagan is having conservation with their wife’s. He was happy seeing her wife talking English. So much of innocence and love.

The other characters add richness to the story. Both men’s wives, sister Bhavani, Latha, his father, uncle and his daughter. Even the animals play a special role in this movie. The cats and parrots in the city, bulls, elephants and snakes in the village. The animal ecosystem wasn’t disturbed. Finally, he request for an archanai at the temple on his name.

Meiyazhagan really shows how an innocent, kind person can impact and touch others’ lives. Even the word “Athaan”, which might seem old-fashioned today, feels natural, pleasing and beautiful here. While some characters show toxic behavior (tho, it was not covered in the movie), the movie balances it with wonderful family relationships.

If you’re looking for dramatic twists or action, this isn’t your movie. But if you want to see slow paced warm ones, you might like this one! Available in Netflix!

Cheers

PS: In hurry!

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Three of us (2022) Movie Review

Three of Us explores Shailaja’s emotional journey through early dementia, reconnecting with past friendships, and learning to let go while reclaiming lost memories.

2–3 minutes

After being immersed in the intense drama of Succession, I felt the need for a change and decided to watch Three of Us. Some compared it to Past Lives, but they feel like two different worlds. Three of Us is a delicate, emotional journey about reclaiming lost time while learning to let go. It’s a story of three intertwined lives: Shailaja Desai, her husband Dipankar Desai, and her childhood friend (Crush perhaps), Pradeep.

Shailaja, the main character, is in the early stages of dementia. She works, possibly in handling divorce cases in Mumbai, while her husband sells insurance. At the start, she struggles with her memory, writing down everything she forgets. One night, she asks her husband to take time off and go with her to Konkan, where she reveals she spent her childhood.

In Konkan, Pradeep enters the scene, Shailaja’s old friend and now a banker. As they reconnect, layers of the story begin to unfold.

  • In the beginning, Shailaja is portrayed as lost, almost disconnected from herself. As the movie progresses, we witness her slowly coming alive again, her memories breathing life back into her.
  • There’s a poignant conflict within her—while she clings to the happy memories of her childhood, she desperately wants to forget the painful ones. A mysterious woman in a hut becomes the symbol of her emotional release, allowing her to confront her hidden burdens.
  • Her interactions with old friends show glimpses of her former self. She remembers more than we’d expect from someone battling dementia, adding complexity to her character.
  • Her graceful Bharatanatyam dance is one of the most touching scenes. It’s a moment of beauty, yet she hides her lapses, especially in front of Pradeep, not wanting him to see her vulnerability.
  • Dipankar, her husband, is loving and patient, though his possessiveness subtly creeps in when Shailaja spends time with Pradeep. The way he takes care of her is good, but not quite on the level of Ganapathy uncle and Bhavani aunty in OK Kanmani. There’s a quiet tension as both men realize they each know different sides of her. Despite the unspoken rivalry, they share a mutual understanding.
  • Pradeep fits into the story naturally. He doesn’t feel like an outsider, even though he wonders why Shailaja has come back into his life after so many years. He is curious but gentle, wanting to spend time with her.
  • Pradeep’s wife, though she doesn’t appear much, plays an important role. She shows a mix of care and admiration for Pradeep’s writing, but also a bit of jealousy, especially when it comes to his time with Shailaja.

The ending ties everything together nicely. The film is about reliving the past while also learning to let it go. If you enjoy emotional stories with deep, meaningful characters, Three of Us is worth watching. Give it try!. Available in Netflix.

Cheers

PS: In hurry!

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Expectations

The author reflects on expectations and the separation of tasks, emphasizing the importance of individual responsibility and self-acceptance while trusting others to manage their own duties.

2–3 minutes

I’ve been preoccupied with both work and thoughts, which kept me from writing. Apologies. But one idea has been running through my mind for the past week: expectation. It’s a small word, yet it carries a huge weight.

Recently, I’ve been reading about some fascinating concepts—terms like separation of tasks, vertical and horizontal relationships, self-acceptance, and confidence in others. I haven’t finished that book yet. I don’t want to dive deep into these theories right now, but one particular idea stood out to me: separation of tasks.

This idea revolves around the notion that whatever you need to do in life is your responsibility, and no one else can do it for you. Sure, people can assist you, encourage, or guide you, but at the end of the day, the task is yours alone. Everyone has their life tasks. It’s up to you to complete it. Philosophers often say that life moves forward without expectations, that humans merely exist, and we shouldn’t burden ourselves with the expectations of others. But, let’s be honest, expectations are everywhere.

Parents have expectations of their children. Teachers have them for their students. Bosses expect results from employees, and partners expect support or time from each other. These expectations could be about something material, about effort, or simply about showing up when needed. No one escapes them.

What really got me thinking was how this separation of tasks could change the way we handle expectations. The idea is that when you focus on your own tasks and trust others to handle theirs, the weight of expectations could reduce to an extent. You aren’t constantly worrying about meeting someone else’s expectations, and you’re not trying to do someone else’s job either. It frees you, in a way or the other.

But here’s the catch—this only works if you can accept yourself as you are, do what’s expected of you, and trust others to handle their own lives. That means having confidence in others and in you. It sounds simple, but how many of us actually trust ourselves and others that they will do theirs without stepping in to “help” or manage?

I find this concept interesting. But is it realistic? I’m not sure if I can fully follow this approach completely, but it’s definitely something I want to reflect on more. Maybe the key to handling expectations lies in accepting yourself, doing your own part, and trusting that others will do theirs. Hope! But it did sounds weird when someone says, I have no expectations! Lol. I need to reflect!

Cheers

PS: Not sure, if this post makes sense

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#DecodeAgri10: Hidden workload of rural women!

The excerpt highlights the struggles of rural women in India, balancing domestic duties and low-wage employment while sacrificing their health.

3–5 minutes

I was speaking to an old friend yesterday, and she stressed the importance of exercise and self-health being just as vital as others’s health. This morning, as I was doing some stretches and walking with my dad, I noticed that my mother was in the kitchen cooking breakfast. 

While she does go for a walk in the evening, she is always quite occupied in the morning. It struck me that she is sacrificing her health to make sure we have food. This thought kept me occupied for a while. Why questions arose. Later, I attended a webinar on rural women. The webinar exposed me to issues that are often unidentified or not discussed enough.

In India, including rural areas, women’s participation in the workforce is significant, but as I learned from the webinar, the actual returns for their work are very low. I don’t have the exact data, but it’s clear that their efforts don’t translate into fair wages. In fact, their daily wage rates are often lower than the cost of a healthy diet. This economic imbalance makes it hard for them to sustain themselves. Then, where can they invest in their health or personal growth? 

Moreover, the issue of unemployment or underemployment for rural women is a major concern. In rural areas, women mainly work in agriculture, but as farms become more mechanized and seasonable, there are fewer jobs available throughout the year. With fewer agricultural jobs, women have fewer opportunities to earn money and improve their living standards. Even when women do participate in paid labor, the wages are so low that it hardly makes a difference in their financial independence.

This situation reminds me of something I heard in a podcast with Kunal Shah. He mentioned that in China, there’s a strong focus on healthcare that helps reduce the workload on women. China has developed systems that ensure women don’t have to carry the full burden of domestic duties and childcare. Partnership model; let’s explore this later. 

Women are also seen as essential contributors to the household’s economic health, and cultural expectations push them toward both work and family duties equally. As a result, rural women in China have higher participation in the workforce, along with better healthcare systems to support their needs. I even recall an audience member from a Western country suggesting something similar during a discussion.

Here, the problem is more deeply rooted. Women’s role in the household is seen as primary, and their work outside the home is secondary. This mindset, combined with low wages and poor job opportunities, keeps many rural women out of formal employment. But can Indian mothers trust others to help raise their children? LOL, NO. Guilt trapping, societal pressure and more. 

As I mentioned earlier, my own mother sacrifices her morning time for us, and that’s just one example. In many rural households, women spend hours preparing traditional foods, which often involve time-consuming tasks like soaking grains or grinding spices. While I’ve spoken in favor of sustainable agriculture and crops like millets (written blogs on the same), these traditional foods often take longer to prepare. This adds to women’s domestic burden, making it harder for them to find time for exercise or focus on their health.

The problem exists even at the grassroots level. Rural women are caught between their domestic responsibilities and the need to work for low wages. The result is a cycle where women sacrifice their health, time, and potential for the family, without enough support or recognition.

There is a need for both policy changes and a shift in cultural norms. We need better infrastructure, healthcare, and employment opportunities that value women’s work, both inside and outside the home. As someone who speaks high of sustainable agriculture and climate change awareness, I see the potential for change if we can also recognize the time-consuming nature of tasks and how they burden women.

I feel a mix of emotions. They need thoughtful consideration and different approaches. I’m still working through these ideas and hope to find clearer solutions in the future. In the meantime, I thought to write about it. Just raising awareness about the struggles rural women face and the importance of recognizing their value, both at home and in the workforce.

Happy International Day of Rural Women!

Amazing photos of rural women are taken by Sebastião Salgado. Please check them out!

Cheers

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