Random Whys

Our Complex Identities!

The discovery of multiple selves leads to introspection on authenticity, decision-making, and embracing complexity, in a continuous process of growth.

2–3 minutes

One such solitude led to the discovery of multiple versions of myself. This isn’t about resolutions or achieving the highest productivity using mental models for the best version of oneself. A little more introspection.

We are different when we are with family, friends, relatives, colleagues, acquaintances, strangers, and especially with ourselves. Our relationships with our family and coworkers are not the same. The most would have been witnessed by family and close friends, the best and most humble version by coworkers and superiors, and the worst by haters. Might be because of the expectations, culture, social norms or social conditioning. Enough that, when we’re by ourselves, are we truly ourselves? That, in which the brain highlights every mistake made since childhood, will be the worst.

Are we fake around people or multi-faced? Or Can we define ourselves as a whole irrespective of people and situations? I am not quite certain about it.

Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. –– Stephen Covey

How can one make wiser choices? There are a lot of mental models for making better decisions. So far, I’m learning from the mistakes that I have made.

People have unique personalities and may behave differently depending on their characteristics and tendencies. We are complex evolving individuals with many facets, layers of experiences, and feelings that cause us to behave in various ways depending on the situation. It is better to embrace different versions than to defend against them.

The best part is that enhancing ourselves and exploring who we truly are is an iterative process.

Ending this with a quote from

No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man – Heraclitus

Cheers! Lets root for the best of 2023!

Check out the previous post: Who am I

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R

Will it bring a change?

Picture of three women — Movies: Darlings, Jaya Jaya Jaya Jaya Hey, Ammu (Left to Right)

There are a lot of female-centric movies coming up in the cine industry. The focus of the aforementioned films is domestic violence, or more specifically intimate partner violence.

When it comes to Darlings, the main character takes help from her mother to teach him a lesson. The most likable part is when the main lead narrates the story of a frog and a scorpion at the end. The scorpion asks the frog for a piggyback ride across the river, but the frog has trust issues. Eventually, the scorpion stays true to its nature and stings the frog.

Ammu revolves around a traditional family where domestic violence is considered to be normal. The main lead is married to an inspector who pretends to be against domestic violence. His true nature and intentions were exposed within the four walls. She seeks help from a murderer to set a trap for the abuser.

Though both movies enlighten on the issue faced by married women, the protagonist seeks support from others. I am not quite sure about getting assistance from others in real life. Yes, I understand; it’s a film.

JJJJH was quite different from the above and was realistic in some parts. The film starts with her childhood, when her parents appeared to be liberal but were actually a normalized patriarchal, conservative middle-class family. Being brought up in a family where her brother gets all the attention, she falls in love with a professor in college who fakes feminism to gain credibility. The story begins when she is married to a person who runs a poultry business. Most of the female characters in this movie (be it mother, MIL, or SIL) normalize intimate violence. Having realized that there is no one to rescue, including her parents, she learns self-defense.

Most of the women would have related to many parts of this story. It would be much better if the writer gave more importance to her thoughts and her agony, along with the male lead, who is more concerned about his bruised ego than getting beat up. The movie also brings out how the male lead relatives tame the heroine by suggesting the idea of impregnation. When she struggles to find work after moving away from her family, the value of education is emphasized. It’s hard to bring about a change when the partner (male or female) normalizes the intimate violence.

This kind of situation reminds me of a conversation between Tae oh and In kyu from the world of the married. It goes as

You want to ruin her and make sure that she doesn't go anywhere. ...... You probably want to destroy her and make her admit that you're the only man in her life.

Will it bring a change in the minds of victims and abusers after watching movies/series based on domestic violence? Or will it be just a film that entertains people for hours?

Cheers!

PS: Link for Darlings, JJJJH and Ammu

Mendeley!

It was challenging for me to properly cite the references as I was writing the previous post. Though we can link to the reference, I am not quite sure about the reference at the end in WordPress. Mendeley is a free and open-source reference management application. It helps to cite sources and organize references according to the required style at the end of the article.

It is software where the reference (citations or PDF) can be added to the desktop app. This can be linked in Word’s Reference section. It also includes certain styles like APA, and, Chicago, etc. We can cite it in the appropriate style as the draft is being created. All references will be listed at the end of the document, following the work (thesis or research article), in the appropriate order (alphabetic or chronological). This saves a ton of time.

I recommend Endnote, though Mendeley was quite easier to work with. Here is a comparison of different reference management softwares.

Comparison between EndNote, RefWorks, Mendeley, Zotero

I don’t have much expertise in other tools like Endnote or Zotero. I do recall using Endnote for my postgraduate thesis. Editing the references takes more time than learning how to use this tool. There are numerous tutorials regarding this on YouTube. Choose what best meets your needs and save some time.

Cheers! Happy Holidays!

#DecodeAgri01: Purple or Orange?

Carrots, belonging to the Apiaceae family, have a complex evolutionary history. Purple and white carrots were cultivated before orange carrots. Cheers!

2–3 minutes

Orange carrot/Western carrot (Daucus carota subsp. sativus) is a root vegetable and it is commonly found in the markets. Carrots belong to the Apiaceae family, which also includes a significant number of vegetables, herbs, and spices like celery, parsley, fennel, coriander, and cumin.

Eastern carrot (purple carrot) cultivation was seen in the regions of Iran and Afghanistan from 900 to 1000 A.D. The purple pigmentation was due to the presence of anthocyanin. Western carrots cultivation was reported during the 1700s A.D in the Netherlands. Carotenoids, α- and β-carotene and xanthophyll are responsible for the carrot’s orange to yellow pigmentation. Here is the domestication of carrots from the beginning.

Purple, Yellow and White carrots — Pic Credit: Here

The evolutionary history of carrots seems quite complex and mysterious. When it comes to carrot domestication, it is clear that purple or white carrots were cultivated before western carrots. Wild carrots are the ancestors but it’s argued that domesticated carrots descend directly from them.

Wild carrots were short, tough, bitter, and mostly used for aesthetic purposes. Western cultivars are separated from wild and eastern cultivated carrots, and some inbred lines have a purified genetic pattern shared with western cultivated accessions, reflecting the intensive breeding practiced in western regions.¹

It was also reported that in the 17th century, Dutch growers cultivated orange carrots as a tribute to William of Orange, who led the the struggle for Dutch independence, and the color stuck. There is no solid reference to support the statement. However, there were paintings of orange carrots in the Byzantine illustration (512 A.D.).

Whatever the reason (Dutch, color, or carotene) for the domestication of carrots, they are rich in carotenes and vitamin A.³

Yet, one more study showed that purple carrots have more. However, the purple carrots were rich in nutraceutical components.⁴ Philipp W. Simon, a carrot geneticist has done tremendous work on the crop, and the information is available online.

Interestingly, these carrots diverged from grapes 113 million years ago, from kiwifruits 101 million years ago, and potatoes and tomatoes 90.5 million years ago.² This might be the reason for anthocyanin and lycopene’s presence, but I am not sure about it.

A person showing that cross section of a purple carrot — Pic credit: Here

It is also true that scientists are working on getting the best out of both carrots by making sure they are resistant to disease, pests, and nematodes. Other than orange carrots, these colorful carrots are not widely available in India. I wonder, how would they taste?

All these are colorful, and the evolution and the history seem interesting. Be it white, yellow, purple, or orange, won’t it be lovely to see these beautiful colors on the plate?

Cheers!

PS: Carrot Halwa

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R

What if GPT3 ?

2–3 minutes

ChatGPT3 is groundbreaking, and it’s trending on social media. It is a conversational AI assistant that provides answers to the user’s questions. The database has been cut off until 2021 and doesn’t crawl the internet to search for new information. This is made by OpenAI and programmed to write and simulate human conversation. It’s free for now.

ChatGP3 is not the first AI bot, there have been Tay, Xiaoice and others. Its not surprising to see that AI is evolving, but that’s happening so soon.

This reminds me of a reel shared by Joe Rogan on Instagram. I am not very sure how it’s going to be in the future. There are possibilities for jobs to be taken by AI, and I wonder where humans can gain the upper hand. Some may have been discouraged by AI writing tools, and here is the response I received from ChatGP3.

“It’s unlikely that AI will ever fully “take over” humans. While AI systems can perform certain tasks more efficiently than humans, they are still limited in many ways and are not capable of replacing human intelligence or consciousness. AI systems are designed to assist humans and make our lives easier, but they are not capable of replacing us or making decisions on their own. It’s important to remember that AI is a tool, and like any tool, it is only as good as the person using it. As long as AI is used responsibly and ethically, it can be a valuable asset to humanity”.

And, of course, there is concern about the evolution of AI. Perhaps they will take over. Who knows! ChatGP3 takes a few minutes to respond, yet it was fun and interesting.

There was an article written by Seth Godin titled, “And what if you can’t tell?” As the AI tools get better, it’s harder to differentiate them. I believe sapiens still have the advantage of creativity and consciousness.

So far, humans have written content, which has been crawled by robots and indexed in search results. Later, the stuff will be created by AI bots and indexed by them. Isn’t it funny? Are we participants in an unknown game with unpredictable rules and regulations?

Lol. Maybe I am hilarious right now!

Let us keep on playing the game.

I’d like to conclude this conservation with a quote from Richard Feynman.

...... drink it and forget it all!

Cheers!

PS: It was written by ME and reminds me of HER.

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What defines you?

An old man looking through the window of a train — Pic credit: Here

I was on the train just like this old man, staring out the window, lost in my thoughts for the last weekend’s travel. It’s usual for thoughts to attack us with gun-pointing truths. This question, in particular, stayed with me for a longer period, and I was convincing myself of the best possible answer.

This is one of the unanswered questions. I am not quite certain whether it should be defined as qualitative or quantitative. I believe there is no universal definition, and people’s perceptions of themselves and others differ. Here is the conversation that I had with myself.

Is it appropriate to say “career” when the question is posed? Adulthood is spent working for the career we choose. Can a person be defined in this single bracket of being called a doctor, scientist, engineer, nurse, salesman, or day worker? What if the person changes their path to becoming something else? Then, it appears to be an ineffective metric.

How about the wealth and money possessed by an individual? Well, people who own a Porsche, LV, Chanel, Gucci, or Rolex, as well as a beach house or stocks, cannot be compared to those who are below the poverty line. This only addresses one aspect of life with money-making abilities and more materialistic possessions. Then, it can be included as a metric of survival or competitiveness, not for the above one.

Next, would it be better to adopt the trait of doing good to others? But here comes the paradox: There are no good or bad things in the world. Everything varies from person to person. Can I consider education or the degree possessed? There are people who are privileged to study what they want; some are forced by their parents; some are underprivileged. That, in my opinion, is an inappropriate option to include.

Recently, I’ve noticed people defining themselves by the number of followers they have on social media platforms such as Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter, where only the highlights/better side of their lives are displayed. Can that be included as a metric? I’m not certain either.

Wouldn’t it be better if someone defined themselves by their actions, thoughts, feelings, passion, or dreams? They are all, however, in the past or the near future. They are susceptible to changes.

All of the above that is mentioned here is prone to change, and I am not here to say that change is permanent and blah, blah. What defines it if none of the above apply? When someone asks me the above question, a lot of things come to mind that I’m not entirely sure about.

Perhaps the way a person reacts in the present defines him, her, or them. Actions or reactions at the moment can be used to say whether that person has had a certain number of experiences. Whether positive or negative, one’s experiences shape and define one. I am not quite certain about it either yet convincing.

Henceforth, there is no specific definition as such. Even, though I’m trying to express my definitions based on current perceptions yet not definite one. Find your definition using your terms, and following this up is not advised

Good Luck on finding yours! Cheers!

My Mister (KDrama): Thought provoking

“My Mister/My Ahjussi” is a compelling, slice-of-life drama about growth, kindness, and resilience, featuring impactful characters and profound quotes.

“My Mister/My Ahjussi” is one of the best series or dramas I have seen. It is written by one of my favorite writer. This is not from a random K-pop fan and it’s not a rom-com. Trust me, My Mister is a slice of life that includes poverty, work, kindness, love, marriage, infidelity, family, friends, greed, mentorship, etc.

The plot revolves around a collision between a man (Doog Hoon) in his forties carrying his weights and a woman (Ji an) in her twenties. It has sixteen episodes. It’s definitely worth the time.

Doog Hoon works for a construction company, is married to a lawyer, and has a son. He lives a normal, mundane life according to his principles. He has two dependent elder brothers and a mother. A bunch of neighborhood friends accompanies them to morning football matches and late-night drinks. He is unaware of his wife’s infidelity. Ji works as an assistant in the same organization. Her parents abandoned her with a mountain of debt and a deaf and dumb grandmother to care for.

The story centres around these two main characters and how they help each other grow as happy people. Their relationship cannot be classified as love, mentorship, respect, elder-younger, or anything else. I honestly don’t understand it, but I adore it. I’m not here to narrate the entire screenplay, but a few lines or scripts have left an indelible impression on me.

"All humans are bound to see things that they desire. They end up searching for the things that they want to see within themselves in the outside world. If your heart is good then you won’t see a single thing that you hate in this world."

"Life, in a way, is a struggle between internal and external forces, too. No matter what happens, you'll be able to withstand anything if you have sufficient internal forces."

"You are the one to decide. If you consider it to be 
no big deal, then it is no big deal."

"All right, let’s do it. All right, let’s do it! Let’s see this through until the end! Let’s just see how far I can go. I’m curious, too… to see just what I will do when I am completely ruined. And what kind of person I will become. Let’s do it."

"It’s difficult to be around a person who saw you so vulnerable."

"It’s easy for people who have money to become good people."

"The thing about human beings is... they live their entire lives in fear that they'll become failures. At first, I was truly happy that Director Park had become a failure. Because Director Park seemed to be fine... despite having failed, it made me think, "it's okay to fail." :"it's nothing, really." "you can still be happy."

"Everyone struggles for their whole life trying to have things. So they live their entire lives trying to prove themselves to everyone. But nobody truly knows what they are gaining by doing that."

"I'm so sick of this world filled with people who all act like they're amazing."

"So why did you have to go to such lengths to dig out someone's painful past? Isn't it only humane to try and let others forget about their past as much as we want to forget our own?"

"The world was filled with stories of people cheating on each other. But when it became my own story, I can't describe it."

"Sometimes I wish I could just have it displayed on the LED billboards for everyone in the world to see instead of living in such fear for the rest of my life."

"I’m going to go to your grandmother’s funeral and you should come to my mother’s funeral. It’s not going to be an awkward and uncomfortable relationship, even if we see each other later on, let’s be able to greet each other warmly and be able to act like we know one another, let’s do that."

"The mere fact that there's someone cheering me on like that helps me breathe."

You can watch it here.

Cheers.!

Check out the previous posts: Movie Reviews

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R

Why can’t a password be a password?

2–3 minutes

Recently, I came across a video on YouTube. It was a conversation between Edward Snowden (I didn’t completely read the wiki, I swear) and Joe Rogan. The podcast is for about three hours, and I saw a clip of that one for twenty-four minutes. Those few minutes of conservation gave me a panic attack. Lol. Edward points out how smartphones monitor us and how they stay active even when the screen is locked or turned off. The mobile nudges you every minute with a bunch of notifications. He also points out that the basic phones with removable batteries are better, but it’s way harder to go back to button phones.

Digital image of letters — Pic Credit: Here

In the same week, I read an article about data breaches. The breaches happen even at giant companies, and here are the numbers for 2022 and 2021. In the world of the tech era, it is getting difficult to protect your passwords, credentials, important documents, etc. We have “n” a number of accounts (bank accounts, Gmail, Outlook, Instagram, Twitter, Reddit, Netflix, Amazon, and so on), and creating a unique password for each one of them is such a hectic task. The most tedious task of creating passwords is remembering them exactly. This reminds me of a meme.

A Picture sating that new password can't be old password

This has happened a lot. Setting a unique and strong password is important. I read that adding salt and pepper to the password makes it even harder to crack. Here is an article that explains it well.

NordPass, one of the password managers, has recently published an article on the top 200 most common passwords.

Top five passwords used in the World

password
123456
123456789
guest
qwerty

Top five passwords used in India

password
123456
12345678
bigbasket
123456789

They listed the passwords used by major countries like the US, UK, Germany, France, China, etc, and here is the link. The most common ones are “iloveyou”, “liverpool”, “arsenal”, hello, “welcome”, “Saibaba”, etc. Verify to see how many of the passcodes match the top 200 and if so, change them.

Having a password as the password to your site is one of the easiest and fastest ways to crack it, as it is used by many. Creating a strong, different password that’s hard to guess and uncommon is advised. Two-factor authentication can also be enabled so that a notification will be received if someone tries to access it. Most smartphones include an inbuilt vault or secure folder. Apart from that, there are a lot of password managers, some of which are paid and some of which are free for personal use, where your credentials can be protected.

Cheers!

Why is it called the golden ratio?

The universe’s beauty is connected by the golden ratio, seen in art, nature, and architecture, even in the Fibonacci sequence.

2–3 minutes

The universe is vast and mysterious. Many things make you feel amused by their beauty. Paintings of Leonardo da Vinci (Mona Lisa, Last Supper, and Vitruvian Man), a spiraling galaxy, a sunflower, aloe, pine apples, cones, shells, petal arrangements, a pyramid, etc.) are alluring and delightful.

What is the link between a spiral galaxy and a human face or a sunflower?

When these objects are looked at closely, the common thing that is found among all of them is the golden ratio.

A golden ratio is an irrational number that’s approximately equal to 1.618. It is represented by the Greek symbol Phi. It is found when a line is divided into two parts and when the total length of the line is divided by the long part of the line equals the long part of the line divided by the short part of the line.

This golden ratio is more prevalent, and it is used by many architects, such as on the Pyramid, Parthenon, and Big Temple at Thanjavur. The elements on the plants, animals, buildings, or objects are arranged and adjusted based on this ratio, creating a sense of harmony and making things attractive. It’s not that everything has a golden ratio, but there are a few things that do.

Golden Ratio and Fibonacci Series

The Fibonacci series is a sequence of numbers (1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, and so on). When you add the last two numbers, you will get the next number, and the ratio of these is 1.6.

1 + 1 = 2, 1 + 2 = 3, 2 + 3 = 5, 3 + 5 = 8, so on

3/2 = 1.5, 5/3 = 1.6, 8/5 = 1.6, so on

It is also called nature’s universal rule.

Leonardo Pisano Bogollo

The Fibonacci sequence was developed by Leonardo Pisano Bigollo, also known as Leonardo of Pisa and Fibonacci (which means “son of Bonacci”). Liber Abaci (the Book of the Abacus) is a famous book published by him. It demonstrated how superior the Hindu-Arabic arithmetic system was to the Roman numeral system, and it demonstrated how the Hindu-Arabic arithmetic system could be employed to benefit Italian merchants. The Fibonacci sequence evolved from a mathematical problem about rabbit mating posed in the Liber Abaci.

This sequence and the golden ratio are used by artists, architects, and designers to make things look captivating.

Companies using golden ratio in their logos

Pic credit: Here

Here are a few examples.

Fibonacci Day is observed on November 23 because the dates are written as 11/23.

Cheers!

PS: I still remember when I was struggling to get an output of this series without error in MATLAB.

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Why being alone feels scary?

1–2 minutes

We confuse loneliness with solitude. Most people can’t be alone. Not because they’re social. But because they’re scared of what comes up in the silence.

The moment the phone is down, the brain pulls up old tapes mistakes, regrets, guilt, shame, and questions with no answers. So we reach for distraction. Reels, tweets, streaks. Dopamine is cheaper than honesty.

Solitude isn’t about meditating on a hilltop. It’s about training oneself to sit still without outsourcing your mind. At first, it feels unbearable. Then it gets normal. Then it becomes leverage.

If you can’t be with yourself, you’ll always need noise in one form (people) or other. If you can, you’ll see patterns no one else notices. You’ll hear thoughts before they calcify into culture.

There is an Italian saying, “Dolce far niente.” The sweetness of doing nothing.

But it’s not nothing. It’s where you meet the raw version of yourself. And that’s where original thinking starts.

Cheers!

PS: Can hold for 10 mins of stillness

Check out similar posts: Why does growth need solitude and interaction?

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R

Unanswered.

I have been through some ups and downs for the last two weeks. I am unsure whether I am trying to find answers or getting convinced about things that I find on the way. Here is the list of some haunting questions.

Why is there a need for identity?
What makes a person humble? Does humbleness come after attaining a social status?
What changes a person?
Is productivity a life goal?
Can acceptance and change go hand in hand?
Why does one seek validation? Either external or internal?
Why do certain memories never fade?
Are humans really social animals?
Does true love exist?
Why do mothers show selfless love?
Is self-awareness bliss or bane?
How does one behave after removing all layers of social conditioning? Still a human or an animal?
How does one find his/her purpose? Is it a trial-and-error method?
Can all emotions be expressed via words?
Where to find the muse when you know nothing fills your void?
How does one know when to rest? Both physically and mentally?
How long does it take to stop one’s thumb finger from “double-tapping”?
How does one handle the paradoxes of life?
Randomness or a Creator?
Fear or regret? Which is more painful?
Does the true personality of oneself exist?
How high does one reach from the lowest?

And so on…

Why do Peacocks stand out?

Peacocks’ stunning feathers captivate with their beauty and evolution, captivating peahens and scientists alike, reflecting evolution’s precision and wonder.

Yes, they do stand out because of their beauty and the evolution of feathers. Peacocks are known for their brightly colored, beautiful, and visual treat to our eyes. They look stunning when are train rattling. Peacocks (males) are the ones that have long colorful tails and not peahens (females). This was the saying of Darwin when spoke about the beauty of peacocks.

The sight of a feather in a peacock’s tail, whenever I gaze at it, makes me sick – Charles Darwin

It didn’t make me sick but intrigued. Before moving to the evolution of long dazzling feathers, let’s talk about the feathers. An Adult male has around 200 long feathers and 165 – 170 eyespots. These feathers end with wing-shaped tails or fishtails (nearly 30 and not all). The eyespots are made up of multicolored branched strands called barbs. These barbs are made up of filaments tightly packed called barbules which are made up of crystal cells that reflect and vibrate in a pattern to attract the peahen. The geometry of the peacock tail doesn’t appear to be a natural selection to me rather than an engineer who did all calculations and designed this beautifully.

Geometric pattern visible in Peacock feathers — Pic credit : Here

This long tail has been seen only in male peacocks as they seemed to be evolved for mating. The peacock produces loud noise to signal the peahen about their presence. As they approach, they courtship their long tails. They also rattle their long and short tails (Front and Back). They do train rattling in such a way that the eyespots don’t move or shake glittering their beautiful colors. The strands vibrate like a guitar and produce some vibrations as well. As Darwin pointed out that they are the secondary sexual characteristics that are evolved to attract. Peacocks spend so much energy to have them, shed their features at the end of mating, and regrow. The major disadvantage of having such a long magnificent tail might attract predators.

Colorful Peacock feathers — Pic Credit: Here

Peahen’s cognitive behavior and how they select their mate still seem mysterious (It’s hard to predict even now). Some studies have been done on how they look at the tails while peacock trains rattle. Peahen looks at the eyespot rarely and they are more focused on the lower wings while some don’t give a shit about it. I wonder why peahen doesn’t have such long tails. Don’t they want to impress peacocks?

Male peacock doing the courtship to the female peacock — Peacock during courtship display and peahen gazing away. Pic Credit : Here

Some studies reported that peahen prefers peacocks with long tails who manage their energy to maintain their features. Others opt for the normal way based on availability. It does appear like human behavior where energy is exploited in the name of fitness wealth, fame, etc to impress the opposite gender. While others don’t spend too much of their energy and select their mates based on availability.

Yeah, this blog is all about the peacocks. Most of the studies stated that “further work is needed to determine whether females use variation in those audiovisual features to discriminate among males, and what benefits they might gain by such discrimination–or whether Darwin was right and it is all just noise”. I speculate that it’s not going to be easy to understand (lol).

The feature might have evolved out of sexual selection or by randomness (constant mutation). If, it’s the latter then, how can be that precise in the arrangement of eyespots, color patterns, and vibrations?

I am not here to argue that a god or creator is sitting with an iPad, designing and making all the miracles. All of these works appear to be logical reasons to believe in the existence of a creator. However, it amuses me with the question, why randomness is not chaotic, and messy but beautiful?

This is all similar to how gravity and electromagnetic force are working so that the earth and the universe are not collapsing. Or should I just believe that is how nature works?

Cheers!

PS: Peacock is the national bird of India (1963) because it has religious and mythological connections with Indian traditions and culture.

Thank you for reading ♡!

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R

Gargi Movie Review (2022)

2–3 minutes

This is the title of a south Indian movie that was released on July 2022. I have seen quite a lot of movies and read articles about rape, sexual harassment, molestation, gender violence, etc., We know that a lot of incidents are taking place every second and then. When there is such an incident, people talk about the physical pain that the victim has gone through and rarely about the psychological aspects.

The movie focuses on the main character led by a woman (named Gargi) who takes an aside with one of the abusers of child rape. Gargi is working as a school teacher born into a middle-class family and got settled in Chennai. She has a younger sister who goes to school and her mother is a housewife.

Gargi sitting in the last seat of public transport and lost in her own thoughts

The story begins when her father (aged around 60) goes missing on the same day when six people who raped a minor girl were arrested. She insists her mother keep her younger sister safe as she is of the same age as the victim. Meanwhile, she searches for her missing father. Her father was arrested as one of the abusers and she believes it to be a mistake as he is a worker in the crime spot. Before she could try to understand, things ended up in court. She stands with him, believes him, and fights for him.

She recalls how she was molested by one of her school teachers during childhood. Her father stood all by her and taught her to be brave and retaliate when things go bad. All memories gave her strong grounds to battle against the false accusation made against her father. This is how everyone out there reacts when it’s pointed to the family.

Though the movie contains a lot of court and police scenes, crime spots, and some hard visuals of child abuse yet it brings out the psychological aspects of the victim’s and the abuser’s family who goes through much pain. Gargi finds out that even her father was one among them while collecting evidence to prove her father innocent. And at the last, Gargi acts morally and makes sure that justice is being served even though she ended up losing.

The main lead did her part so well and it feels like you’re walking through her parts of life. Though most of the reports and articles say that child abusers are friends, family members, neighbors and its hard to find until the child opens up. It’s not easy for them to forget and heal their traumas irrespective of gender.

This movie created a huge impact on me and the family was given more importance than the gender stereotype which was thought-provoking. It’s kind of a hard-hitting and moderate thriller movie. However, it slaps you with the question “What if that was your father or one of your family members?

PS: Watch it here.

Cheers !

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Sunandhini R

Tame Your Gmail Inbox: Hacks for Peak Productivity!

Handle your Gmail inbox with ease using these tips: dark theme, keyboard shortcuts, unsubscribe, labels, undo send, separate emails, and more.

3–4 minutes

Yes, you can have peace with Gmail. One of the tedious tasks amongst all work is handling the Gmail inbox. There is no escape room, even during vacations. Lots of hacks are out on the net. I will write about a few things that have worked for me.

#Extension

Though there are a lot of themes out yet, nothing can beat the dark theme. The extension I use is Dark Reader, and if you’re not comfortable with extensions, you can try a dark theme in Gmail (Settings-Theme-View all-Dark-Save).

#Keyboard shortcuts

If you find it hard to navigate each message through touch or mouse, then keyboard shortcuts might help you. (Settings-See all settings-General-Scroll down-Enable keyboard shortcuts). There is an option for customized keyboard shortcuts as well.

#Unsubscribe

One of the best ways to decrease the count of receiving mail is by unsubscribing. Whenever we visit a website or e-commerce, our inbox will be flooded with promotions. Just unsubscribe. If you already have those types of emails, type the specific name, for example, Amazon, and select all and delete it (after unsubscribing). As an alternative to that, you can use separate mail just for shopping alone.

#Labels

Segregating emails with different labels will help you to find the emails when you need them the most. Create the labels based on the needs and give them a specific color. Spotting the colored labeled mail is easier than labeled mail. (Click on the three dots next to the label name – label name color – add the required color)

#Undo send

Sending out a long message might have errors (spelling mistakes, grammar, files missing, etc.). It would be nice to have “Delete for Everyone” (lol), but there is one thing that can be done. Unsend the mail as soon as you notice an error, but the maximum time limit is only 30 seconds (Settings-See all settings-General-Undo Send-Change it to 30 sec-Save).

#Inbox type

If there are 10x emails to be read, try the unread theme first. Use the keyboard key ” [ ” to read through the messages, and as you read through, change the labels with “L”. If it’s unwanted, then unsubscribe from it.

#Large-sized mail

Some of the mail might have attached files and could occupy a larger space. Clearing them out is the best way. Depending on the size of the mail, you can type “Larger: 15MB” in the search box and delete the unwanted.

#Signature

Typing the robotic phrases (Thanks for your time, Have a nice day, Have a great week ahead) might be harder when you have to do it for every message. Add all the robotic end phrases in the signature with enough space in between them (Settings-See all settings-General-Signature-Save changes).

#Separate mails

Lately, I have subscribed to a few newsletters that require more focus and attention. It was difficult to clear the inbox and spend a few minutes reading. I set up a separate email for newsletters so that I can spend less time worrying about unread mail.

#Tasks

This might be very helpful when you have frequent meetings and deadlines to be completed. When you receive a particular message regarding the deadline or a task to be completed on a future date, open the calendar on the side panel, and it automatically types the title and saves it for a reminder.

All these might look harder to follow, but once you get used to the keyboard shortcuts, clearing out the unread emails becomes easier. I personally follow them to avoid anxiety when I see unread emails.

Hope this helps!

Cheers!

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Beyond A’s :Overcoming the Red Carpet Syndrome

The Red Carpet Syndrome is a sense of entitlement based on merit, not wealth. School rules differ from life’s uncertainties. Success requires resilience and ambition.

It’s not about the album released by Bolt Upright. This is more of like an illness/illusion that we develop as we grow.

“The Red Carpet Syndrome is the sense of entitlement that comes not from wealth or lineage, but of merit. Yes, even merit can lead to entitlement”.

– Einat Wilf

While growing up, one common thing we heard was “get good grades, get into a good college, and life will be sorted”. The biggest scam ever.

Generally, there is a saying that people who do well in school/college struggle with the rules of life. I am not sure whether it’s real or a myth. Based on my perceptions, let me try to differentiate them because both seem like different games.

#Rules and Regulations

The schools and colleges have definite rules and set of instructions to abide by. These rules are hard to break and might end up getting punishment (maximum of suspension and spotlight). Whereas, life has no specified rules. If you live by certain rules set by society, fellow humans, your boss, etc, you might live life with regrets. Breaking the rules and stereotypes might lead to creativity and living the life to fullest.

Disclaimer: Don’t break the Laws.

#Time Table

Time is the most precious commodity. We might have fixed time schedules for the class, exams, semester, webinar, presentation, and date for the results. After entering the roller coaster (so-called life), there are no such timings. If you want to go to the GYM, you need to push yourself. Waking up early, working on your side hustle, taking a course, etc., all have to be scheduled by you. There is no one to tell you what to do. That’s where we end up binge-watching on Netflix, (lol).

#Strategies & outcome

Everyone has different strategies when it comes to getting A in their assignments and exams. Some might have got a good memory, some are good at mnemonics, some understand the concepts well, and some at creating stories. There are possibilities for knowing the question patterns or which questions might appear on the exam. Life after that is exactly the opposite. No clue what life will lead to or the purpose of life. It’s just the abyss. You need to iterate on different things and see what works for you and try to see some light at the end of the tunnel. The results of any work that you do aren’t like instant noodles. They take a hell of a lot of time and there is no fixed duration as such.

#Setbacks

Setbacks and failures are not that common in school or college. You will be popular either way (Topper, good-looking, sports person, etc). We usually have this assumption right that If we do well in school and college by getting a good score, staying disciplined, good feedback, and not falling for bad-mouthing, we are winners in real life. But the latter part has more setbacks, humiliations, betrayal, failures, heartbreaks, and downs and it’s all uncertain. Success and happiness are part of them. There has to be space to build up resilience in us to handle them.

#Conclusion

Right after leaving school or college, we want to get into our dream job (cracking the MNCs interviews without rejections at the placement or clearing the competitive exams) without much hustle. No one is going to come and lay out that beautiful red carpet and ask us to walk on it. The world isn’t that fair. It doesn’t serve with a plate of our all desires. We end up hoping for that plate to be served at our table.

Never. Don’t fall for that trap. Break that thought and don’t get carried away by Heaven’s Reward Fallacy.

Some of Einat Wilf‘s words and a video.

Carry your dreams with you as you go out into the world, and let them be your guiding lights. Take risks, fail at least once, and get used to the feeling, because you might fail again. Be ambitious but patient, and above all, don’t give up. Life issues no invitations. So go ahead, crash the party.

Cheers! Fighting!

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turtles all the way down!

Sunandhini R