Everyone advices the other falls into two. First as stop scrolling. Second one as, to learn to enjoy a quiet evening once you’ve stopped the former. I assume, they are one loop, seen from different perspective. I believe, it is just an advice to be spread and quite difficult to be followed.
The pull isn’t the content!
TBH, most of things in the feed is forgettable the second we scroll up. Yet, the thumb keep moving, right? Does it end? IG doesn’t show the end of the gird. It feels like there is no end. Like Akashyapathiram, there are n number of new creators and consumers.
This feels addictive because we don’t know what the next scroll/reel gives you. It is usually nothing. Then, suddenly, something that resonates. It’s not chasing the good post. But chasing maybe this next one. That “maybe” is the whole game or to be precise, the anticipation is the word.
Why deleting the app isn’t enough?
Lets say the app is deleted or we have set a timer or even uninstalled. And, obviously it works for awhile. In the long run, does it?
The moment it’s reachable again, the urge to use is back. Sometimes even stronger. This never stops. We try to break the loop and the chain continues.
The Connecting dot
Lets say the boundary has been set. What shows up after the boundary isn’t calm. It’s a flatness/baseline that feels wrong. The empty feeling or dip. Now , this feels like something is missing. Like a void maybe? Not because you miss the app. Because the mind is trained on constant small surprises. It starts treating any steady as a problem to fix that we haven’t identified. Hence, the hand reaches for the phone again.
This is why both pieces of advice fail. Delete the app without expecting the flatness/baseline emotion, and reinstallation is done by day four. Trying to be present while the app is one tap away, feels the loses.
Now swap the app for a person
Lets say someone, who runs hot and cold. Replies fast one day, goes silent for three. Love bombing? Occasionally saying the exact thing that needs to be communicated in a consistent manner.
The core issue, is same as the above. Nothing in this changes too. We are not attached to who they are on average. We are attached to the maybe or the anticipation. Blocking them is deleting the app. And the flatness after is the same. A steady, kind, available person suddenly feels boring, because you’ve learned to read predictability as absence. This doesn’t have to be a partner, could be anyone to whom the issue is dealt with.
One question, not two!
So it’s one loop. The boundary has to hold long enough that ordinary time stops feeling empty and starts feeling ordinary again. Delayed Gratification.
But for how long to delay? I am not sure about this. Subjective to the individuals and the context.
Bu, most probably longer than we want. So don’t aim for feeling good but to stay long enough to stop feeling like loss.
Cheers
PS: Haven’t installed IG yet
Check out the previous post: Curse of Terminologies
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